In this issue:
3 Big Stories
‘Red Notice’ is Netflix’s most popular movie ever
SCOTUS looks set to overturn Roe vs. Wade
Tesla moves headquarters from California to Texas
Interview - 3 Questions with Jack Dorsey
3 Things To Look For Next Week
3 Big Stories
‘Red Notice’ is Netflix’s most popular movie ever
Netflix announced that it’s original action heist movie - ‘Red Notice’ - is its most watched movie all time.
This news was welcomed in China as it proved that Americans are dumb enough to watch any old garbage as long as it includes The Rock.
“Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene make sense now”, said the Chairman of the Politburo.
SCOTUS looks set to overturn Roe vs. Wade
The Supreme Court is currently considering a case filed by Mississippi to overturn Roe vs. Wade.
The NRA filed an amicus brief on behalf of Mississippi stating that abortions should be banned nationwide because life is sacred, and that more lives help to mask the NRA’s influence on America’s death rate.
Tesla moves HQ from California to Texas
Tesla is now officially headquartered in Austin, Texas, per an SEC filing.
When pressed for comment, Musk said “Texas represents an amazing opportunity for Tesla. California is so cutting edge, Tesla doesn’t seem that innovative there. But Texas’ social policies are from the 1700s, so Tesla seems positively futuristic here.”
Interview: 3 Questions with Jack Dorsey
Q: Why leave Twitter now?
JD: My stylist told me it would take a few years to trim my beard. I don't have the time to be CEO of Twitter and Square and get my beard trimmed at the same time. So from Monday I'll be managing Block (formerly Square) from the salon.
Q: Why did you rename Square to Block?
JD: At Twitter I never blocked fascists from the platform when I should have. Renaming Square to Block reminds me that social media has destroyed the social fabric of this country block by block. It’s the only form of punishment a Silicon Valley executive will ever face.
Q: So what are the big plans for Block now you’re no longer dividing your CEO duties with another publicly traded company?
JD: Block wants to revolutionize digital payments in this country. It’s an abomination that Americans paying extortionate medical debt with checks. Sure paying $250k for cancer treatment isn’t great, but paying $250k for cancer treatment by cashiers check is way worse.
3 Things To Look For Next Week
GOP promises to replace Speaker’s gavel with AR-15 when they retake the House
Don Jr replaces Meghan McCain on The View because he’s the only other American with at least 4 “my father says” per minute
China admits it plans to fight America by donating to the NRA