In this issue:
3 Big Stories
Inflation is here to stay
Taco Bell launches a subscription program
Novak Djokovic denied entry into Australia
Interview - 3 Questions with Donald Trump
3 Things To Look For Next Week
Inflation is here to stay
ConAgra CEO says that inflation won’t go away even after the omicron wave passes.
Speaking with CNBC, CEO Sean Connelly said “I don’t think if omicron goes away it immediately solves inflation.”
The full quote was “I don’t think if omicron goes away it immediately solves inflation. Because firms like ours have gotten used to pandemic profiteering and it’s funding our private jets so we’re not going to stop”
Taco Bell launches a subscription program
Taco Bell is launching a subscription service -dubbed Taco Lover’s Pass - for around $10/month to access 1 taco each day.
Subscribers will be upsold to Taco Bell’s streaming service, which airs shows like The Real Taco (a Jessica Simpson hosted show that tells Mexicans they don’t know real Mexican food until they’ve tasted Taco Bell).
“America is sliding towards authoritarianism, but most Americans don’t realize because they’re so consumed by a myriad of streaming choices. So if there’s anything America needs right now, it’s another streaming service” said a Taco Bell spokesperson.
Novak Djokovic denied entry into Australia
In a blow to fans and broadcasters, Novak Djokovic - who is unvaccinated - has been denied entry into Australia to compete at the Australian Open, which starts on 1/17.
The unvaccinated tennis star insists he has done his own research on the vaccine. Not by Googling around the topic, but by using Bing.
Djokovic is now appealing the ruling from the Australian Border Force.
If he fails to overturn this ruling, Djokovic has promised to host a rival tennis tournament called the Australian Closed.
Interview: 3 Questions with Donald Trump
Q: What have you been up to since leaving the White House?
DT: I’ve been busy launching new ventures. I have this amazing new multi-level marketing program called Trump Pyramid. We sell at home COVID testing kits that say “hoax” with every swab.
Q: And how are your plans to launch a media company coming along?
DT: It’s going to be huge. We have a new new streaming service: Trump+/-. It’s going to have incredible original programming like Liberty Lovers, which is a docuseries about men who insist that the First Amendment includes the freedom to sexually assault anyone. It’s unbelievable, believe me.
Q: Wow - that’s provocative. Surely no sponsor will come near such a show?
DT: That’s fake news - believe me. Liberty Lovers is going to do very strongly. It’s a show about sexual assault - so we got Prince Andrew to sponsor it.
3 Things To Look For Next Week
Chuck Todd thanks 1/6 denying Republicans appearing on his show by praising them for their honesty
NBC announces a reboot of The Cosby Show starring a newly released Bill Cosby
Republican Governors attempt to deal with a labor shortage by announcing a new 6 day work week