In this issue:
3 Big Stories
U.S. inflation hits a 40 year high
Canadian truckers protest
LA set to host Super Bowl
Interview - 3 Questions with new Peloton CEO
3 Things To Look For Next Week
3 Big Stories
U.S. inflation hits a 40 year high
U.S. inflation reached 7.5% in January, which is the highest its been since 1982. The increase in prices is driven by product shortages, supply chain disruptions and executives raising prices to fund the purchase of their third yacht.
The last time inflation was this high, the country lacked universal healthcare but still had a sense of national purpose.
Congressional Republicans denounced President Biden for mismanaging the economy. However, former President Trump bragged that nobody did inflation better than him. It’s not clear if he was referring to U.S. inflation or the inflation of his own net worth.
Canadian truckers protest
In Ottawa, Canadian truckers are protesting against COVID restrictions, as a new rule requires truckers to be vaccinated in order to cross the U.S.-Canada border.
The protests now includes both truckers - now dubbed the “Freedom Convoy” - and pedestrians and have resulted in blockades.
America’s Republicans are delighted to see this protest. Not just because they align with the protestors’ views on COVID restrictions, but because it proves that Canada’s investment in public health and education do not prevent a country from producing a very stupid people.
Meanwhile in Europe, “Freedom Convoy” is the term used to describe people who quit their job to pursue entrepreneurial goals without having to worry about paying for healthcare.
LA set to host Super Bowl
Around 100 million Americans will watch the LA Rams and Cincinnati Bengals compete in Super Bowl this weekend.
The TV audience should expect to see plenty of ads from cryptocurrency exchanges like FTX. A surge in cryptocurrency trading could mean that 2022 is the year that Americans stop funding medical care through GoFundMe and instead sell Bitcoin to pay their exorbitant hospital bills.
Crypto is considered to be the financial equivalent of the NFL: its not quite clear how it operates but its value somehow keeps going up.
Interview: 3 Questions with new Peloton CEO, Barry McCarthy
Q: What are your plans to revive Peloton’s fortunes?
BM: We are going to move away from capex-intensive bike manufacturing and lean into our streaming business. After all, America is crying out for more streaming.
So starting this fall, Peloton subscribers will be able to watch Cody, the Cody Rigsby origin story. Spoiler alert: it’s mostly Cody sitting on a stationary bike, so you could say its not particularly moving.
Q: But to compete in the streaming space you need a boat load of content - its going to take much more than one origin story to make Peloton a viable player in streaming…
BM: Right. That’s why we are also planning a new reality series about how owning a Peloton is the entire personality of single New Yorkers.
And we’re producing our own Sex and the City revival in which Sarah Jessica Parker marries her Peloton. It’s going to be great!
Q: Peloton laid off 2,800 people this week. Can you promise remaining staffers there are no further layoffs planned?
BM: What I can promise is that remaining employees will be given new Peloton stock. And by stock I don’t mean equity, I mean a large stock of Peloton branded clothing and accessories. Staff can then sell these goods to laid off Peloton employees to boost their income and remind laid off staff of what they’re missing out on.
Besides, the laid off staff will be fine. We’re giving them a year long subscription to Peloton so they can fill their time by watching Cody.
3 Things To Look For Next Week
Tom Brady is named Super Bowl MVP despite not playing in the game
NBC reports record ratings for the Winter Olympics by including viewing from dogs, bots and mirrors
Your local restaurant announces their launching their own streaming service
Note: Funny Business will be on hiatus for the next few months. The newsletter returns in the summer. See you then.